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“That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change it: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh。”
I was about to propound a question; touching the manner in which that operation of changing my heart was to be performed; when Mrs。 Reed interposed; telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the conversation herself。
“Mr。 Brocklehurst; I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to you three weeks ago; that this little girl has not quite the character and disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school; I should be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep a strict eye on her; and; above all; to guard against her worst fault; a tendency to deceit。 I mention this in your hearing; Jane; that you may not attempt to impose on Mr。 Brocklehurst。”
Well might I dread; well might I dislike Mrs。 Reed; for it was her nature to wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully I obeyed; however strenuously I strove to please her; my efforts were still repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above。 Now; uttered before a stranger; the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived that she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence which she destined me to enter; I felt; though I could not have expressed the feeling; that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future path; I saw myself transformed under Mr。 Brocklehurst’s eye into an artful; noxious child; and what could I do to remedy the injury?
“Nothing; indeed;” thought I; as I struggled to repress a sob; and hastily wiped away some tears; the impotent evidences of my anguish。
“Deceit is; indeed; a sad faul
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